I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
