umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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