you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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