its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
