Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
