i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
