Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just high enough for therapy.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
