you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
