I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
