So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
