Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I FOUND THE LEGS
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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