the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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