so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
