we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
