I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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