what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
