Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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