Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
