is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
