Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize