Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We are two peas in an std pod
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
