the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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