my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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