Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I AM VODKA MAN
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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