those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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