so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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