We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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