none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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