I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize