sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
