what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
