Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
