The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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