no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
