the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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