We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
