do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
