Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
