Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i out mim tonsoeep
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