I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
