Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
