I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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