Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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