He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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