don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
