I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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