It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
