We named our party play list daddy issues
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
