You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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