VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's get the cat blown out
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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