Where did you get a picture of my penis
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize