Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
