at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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