Can i not drive my cunt home
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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