Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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