I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
