i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
