your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
