so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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