What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
