Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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