Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
