this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
