Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
